2015 Final Chapter

It feels like just yesterday I was writing this 2014 Recap, and now it's almost the end of 2015. Time do flies fast. Honestly speaking, I tend to be very forgetful recently that up till this moment, I'm trying very hard to remember what were the significant events happened this year. Phew.

2015, come to think about it, it was all about me - myself, relationship, faith, career.

Being in the middle-20's stage, I face a lot of circumstances from deep  within me.  Mostly it was about Quarter Life Crisis, Desire,Life Calling. At times, I felt so lost that I don't know what to do, where to go and how to express it. In the end, some confusion that I felt, I just keep it safe with me; for I know that no one would be able to understand what I was going through. It was more like feeling scared of what others would think of  me once they know the truth. No wonder, certain things are meant to be kept silent.

Growing up enable me to see who's my real and true VIP in my inside story.  I learn to treasure them more. Yup, I know it's a bit late for me to realize that,but I believe God has His own magical way to let me know His blessings for me. Thank you Lord, it may take me a while to see it but now I'm here.

Being OT in a hospital setting is indeed an adventure. I realize that I never posted nor share anything about my hospital job, not because I hate it but I guess, I have another issues that concerned me more. As OT in JMC, there are lots of thing that I need to catch up, learn, refresh and I'm fully aware that I still have a long way to go, even just to reach a beginner level of being OT. I just hope that   I will be able to survive and challenge myself to be better for this coming year.

2015 was a year of blessings for me. Although, there were certain things that I lost along this year, but I believe, I gained more.

 Thank you, Lord.

Funny but true, I kinda feel a bit nervous about going into this new year, 2016. Lord, may this new coming year, enable me to find what I've been looking for this whole time and yes, with Your grace abound me. Amen.

Have a blessed New Year!

Christmas Love

Merry Christmas 2015

&

Happy New Year 2016

Not much to say, but thank you Lord. For Your amazing grace and wonderful blessings on this Christmas season. Amen. 

Age VS Maturity

'When you age, you will become more mature'

 

or

'Maturity is not related to your age'

Which one of those is true ? 

Answering this questions is like deciding which comes first, the egg or the hen.

For me, it can be either both. I see myself  these two traits in the people around me.

'When you age, you will become mature' - True enough. As you age, you had already experience life issues that makes you wiser today. When the youngsters can only see  a one way out from the box, you may see more than that. It's not just the way out, but what's next when you're outside. That's why, we tend to look for someone older than us for opinion or solution.

'Maturity is not related to your age' - Indeed. No need to look further but this actually suits me best. I'm 26 and honestly speaking, my attitudes at times is worse than a preschooler. I'm aware of it but when my childishness thinking is really into me, I could no longer behave as a 26 years old self. Regret will only creep in once I was settle down and I'm stable enough to think that I've been acting like I'm not supposed to.But what to do, what done is done, You could only do a throwback and promise yourself that this will not happen again. 

I'm sharing  this today, because I've experienced myself how does it feel when childishness has been possessing someone. It is really annoying up to the point that it makes me so frustrated and less interested. I know, I've been acting like one few times, but when it comes to food/ eating or anything related matter, this is serious. Especially, when you're really hungry. This was not the first food issue that I encountered. What makes it much, much more frustrating - because I experienced it with the same person.

One thing that I'm obviously clear now is - Maturity doesn't come with  age. 

*Sorry, but I just feel like blogging to express my inside story. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

Be Calm

Be Calm.

In every little thing you do, be calm.  Often we get too stress out nor panicked especially when making a big decision, we end up suffer with the consequences.

It is easier said than done but one thing that I learnt is, not too make decisions when you're overly happy or angry. I'm glad to say that, I've been trying to do it in a smaller step. Whenever I feel like wanting to do something silly in times of emotional instability, I take one step back and think - is this really necessary, would I have done it tomorrow; when I'm stable enough.

Thank you Lord, you have never forsaken me, in good or  bad times. May this Year of Mercy, enable me to grow my faith stronger in You. Amen.

Final Chapter

Amen.

As always, since I like to blog almost at the eleventh hour, time do flies fast. Now, we've come to the final chapter of 2015. Unbelievable.

We've entered the second week of Advent, and Christmas is 2 Saturday away. 

How is your preparation?

For me, honestly speaking, I haven't prepared yet - specifically being a  Christian.

Help me Lord.

Chapter 11 - Homesick

Homesick. The usual term being used if you are away from home.

Being away from home, on and off for almost 9 years, I am more than used with this homesick term. At times, it feels like nothing, but when this homesick really get into me, damn, no words can best describe it.

Logically, people would say that, those 9 years of being on and off away from home should've taught me of not having this homesick thingy. But, honestly, for me, it's the opposite. Sounded funny, right?

Back when I was in boarding school, the things that I missed the most at home is the house environment. The family comes second. Haha. You see, staying in a hostel means everything is on a sharing basis. Rooms, toilets, and yeah, very limited privacy. Well, of course at home is also a sharing basis but the environment is far more different.

When I was in uni, the house environment comes second and family became the first one. My first months in uni was not that good. I had my terrible down moment during that time. So, I was really missing my family back home up to the point that I was willing to let go my study just like that.

But, thank God. I survived.

Now, I'm close to home. But, still homesick. I'm always looking forward to weekend where I can go back and see my loved ones. I know, I sounded like a manja-daughter,  but for me , it's because I come to realize that their presence in my inside story is what I am today. It may sounded like a-very-late-awareness-level-of-me but still not too late, I guess.

I'm hoping for more weekend to enjoy and do nothing!

#blessedadvent.

Private

With nowadays advance tech, almost everything is easily accessible through the tip of your finger. And indeed, surely each of us now at least own a FB account, or perhaps more than that - Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr.

Easily accessible - as in you can get the latest updates of the world today, connect with your family and friends or perhaps, stalk someone. Hehe.

While getting new updates for the latest story, you yourself can updates what's going on with you, like " I had a bad day today", " Hanging out with besties" or " I miss my boyfriend" -  kind of status.

Being actively online, it's our own choice and of course, our rights as a user to post anything in our account. Other than answering to FB's  "What are you up to?", we also shared pictures or videos.

Same goes for me. I shared with my FB's clan what my latest updates, pictures of loved ones, funny videos or maybe some useful links.

But, personally for me, there is limit of what and how much you post online. Not every single things need to be shared with the world. I'm not being secretive or selfish, but I believe certain personal life issues need to be kept private. Just because you're being friend on FB,that doesn't mean you can trust them with all your issues by telling them on FB.

I admit, I may be judgemental at times when I scroll down my newsfeed but when it comes to post about family issues, marriage relationship - I seriously against it. Why would you post something so personally private online and let the whole world know how trouble your relationship are ? All in all, you end up making your stories the hot stuff for others and somehow indirectly humiliate your loved ones.

But, that is just my own piece of mind. Please don't get offended. Just like I've mentioned previously, you have the rights to post anything in your page.

Friendly reminder - Just please, please be careful of what you post or shared online. Think wisely and deeply the pros and cons before doing so. Yes, those post can be deleted but it can't be undo. People may have read it, screen shot, repost or worse, manipulate it.

So,the choice is yours, at the tip of your finger.

#blessednovember

Marriage Mystery

Last Sunday's readings during the mass were indeed meaningful - especially to myself, as I am now still in the middle of recognizing my life calling.

All the readings were about marriage and family; and being in a quite controversial age  for this marriage-and-family thingy, this was something to ponder and think deeper.

In life, obviously  in our own community, people  tend to look and measure your life achievements through marriage. You finish your study, get a steady job, meet up with someone and get married to that someone. That's how you should live your life - or so, according to the norms.

But, little did they know that getting married is not that easy as ABC. It's not like your future husband is in front of you, or money flowing from the sky that you can just throw a big wedding reception party or perhaps you are mentally ready enough to change your status from Single to Married.

Sounds complicated, huh? Indeed. But, I would rather say marriage is a mystery and such a wonderful gift from God.

Because..

I come to believe that not  everyone was destined to live a marriage and family life; or maybe meeting and getting married to that someone not in the normal timing (as in around your 20's).

For me, since I was still a school girl, I'm 100% being positive that someday when I grow up, I would achieve that getting married + family life milestone.

But, these days, I come to understand how God's intervene in our daily life. It's all about the perfect and right timing. We may pray hard for a life partner today, or perhaps a family life but do we really get it on time? Sometimes we do, sometimes we not.

But, in the end, all that matters is, to keep our faith to God because His plans for us are even more amazing than what we have for ourselves.

So, be still. Our prayers for a marriage and family  life may not be answered today but bear in mind, good things come to those who wait patiently.

Who knows, my soulmate is just next door but it's just that I'm blinded to see that it was him after all? Hahaha. #fingerscrossed.

So then, what God has united,human beings must not divide.

Conquering your fear

We're not perfect. Obviously. Each of us has our own fear. Be it fear of failing, fear of the darkness, fear of  being in a closed space, fear of the unknown and so forth. I've always believed that what we've become today or how our personality is, it's all from our childhood background and experiences.

I was raised in a kampung  setting, in which, when I recalled back, it was awesome and I'm truly grateful for it. It may not be the extreme kampung  setting but I did enjoy  climbing trees, playing in the mud, be able to experience the kampung chores, swimming in the river and spending most of the time with outdoor activities. By looking at it, I should become an adventurous, brave and would easily adapt with new environment person, right? but I guess, I'm not that. 

I, first noticed my not-so-adventurous personality when we had our trip to Genting Highlands and Sunway Lagoon (back when I was still a student). Being in a teenager-adult-to-be phase, I should have no problems in trying and playing all those games in the theme park. Unfortunately, it's the opposite. I don't have the courage to go and play the extreme games - Roller Coaster, Space Shot, Aladdin Magic Carpet and etc. Sorry, I forgot what are the other extreme games.

Such a waste. Isn't it? You paid for RM80 (quite a lot of amount for a student on that time) but you didn't try all the games.  

That was during my first trip. On my second trip to Sunway, most of my Borneo gang tried to convince me to go and ride on those extreme games. I hesitated at first but after some time, I agreed to it.

Voila! I did it and it feels great, and as always I would end up say - "First & last la tu. Saya tidak mau naik lagi". Ha Ha Ha.

Now that I'm an adult, I once again came across with this kind of situation. This time, it was in Cebu.

Sky Experience Adventure. Honestly speaking, it was scary, especially the Edge Coaster Ride. I remembered screaming out of fear most of the time.

But, I did it. Relief. Thank God. I survived.

I may never and would never know how does it feel or  aware of my self -limit if I haven't experience it myself. One thing that I learned, with even a small amount of courage, I was able to conquer my fear. The end result - feeling satisfied with own self.

At least, I would have something to brag about when people ask me!  Ha Ha Ha.

Sky Walk Adventure. Ho Ho Ho.

26 candles

Blowing 26 candles this year! Happy Birthday, dear self!

26. Wow. I'm 26 years old already. Frankly speaking, and as always (haha!)  I don't feel like 26. In a lot way to be exact. Being 26, comes with maturity, somewhat elegant image and etc but for me, I feel like those are the things that still a loooong way to go - Well, actually that's how I see the other 26 look like. So, when it comes to me, it feels like heaven and earth difference. But, still thank you, God. You're awesome.

26. People around would come to you and ask all those famous yet controversial and sensitive questions like - "Bila ko mo tunang, nak?" , "Eh, ko bila lagi? ko tingu si anu suda kawin." , "Ko xda plan mo kawin ka ni?"  and the list goes on. Surely, most of you has been through this.

 At times, I don't know how to answer them in the best way and perhaps a sarcastic way maybe. I would always end up say, "Oh, palan-palan ba anty. enjoy bujang dulu." or  " Tiada gia yang mau sy ni, x laku."  A very typical response. Haha.

I used to reply to these questions in a funnier way aka main-main plus laughing and etc. But deep down inside, I wonder to myself, when is actually my turn (haha!), what if I end up not getting married or don't want to get married  and a lot more. Complicated, much? Hehe

Anyway, skip that. Hehe.

Thank you Lord, for your wonderful and abundant blessing showered upon me. Thank you for my parents, raising me up to what I've become today. Thank you dearest families, who are always there to support me. Thank you friends, whoever and wherever you are maybe, you guys have been part of my inside story.

Of course, being a birthday girl today, I have lots of wishes. But for now Lord, I pray, wish and humbly seek for your guidance in knowing my life callings, to be given the wisdom to see and decide what's best for myself, and last but not least, to be contented and grateful. Amen.

Thank you Lord! You have always been there for me. Amen.

New Interest

I've discovered my new interest - Travelling + Vacation. Hehe

Who doesn't love to travel right? 

Well, actually I'm not a big fan of it. Previously. But now, yeah, I should and will put in my checklist, that I need to go travel, at least - once a year.

Tumalog Waterfall, Oslob Philippines - Ex UKM

 

I just got back from Cebu Trip with my UKM mates. It was awesome. We used to be the the Jalan-Jalan Team back in Uni time and now, reunited for another jalan-jalan session. Hehe.

I was sick before departing to Cebu and it was actually ruined my mood a bit. Well, I've been looking forward to this trip, excited much and suddenly, a day before, I got flu attack + cough. Phew.

But, thank God. Although, I was sick, I was still able to enjoy my trip. By the second day, my flu was becoming much better.Only cough left.  But then, by the third day, I almost lost my voice. Not to say that I've had a sore throat but it was more because of the cough. So, for almost 3 days, I couldn't speak much up the point that I need help from my friend to order me my breakfast meal. So sad.

I need more holidays. Hehe. More updates, soon.

Chapter 9

Hello, Chapter 9.

As always, when it comes to September, many people would post on their Facebook as :

 "Wake me up when September ends"

 or

" September, be nice to me."

Actually, I was one of them. My favourite status would be the second one, the be-nice-to- me. Haha. 

But then, there was a time, I saw this someone posted on Facebook, saying - " Why would you ask the month to be nice with you ??" and I was like, "Hell, yeah". Why would I ask the month to be nice to me when I'm the one who have the control of what I want my September to be? I mean with God's guide and blessings, of course. Right? Hehe.

Anyway, and hopefully, we would have a blessed and joyful Chapter 9 aka September. I will, because I have a lots of stuff planned for September. Looking forward!

Keep calm and have peace!

Life Goals

I saw this few days ago on Facebook. Decided to save it and shared it on my inside story today.

Surely, most of us have our own life goals. Despite my quarter-life-crisis that is on-going now, deep down, I still have this goals that I wanted to achieve in life.

1. Graduate college

Thank God. I graduated from UKM about 3 years ago. Time flies fast, eh? I've managed to survive the uni student life for 4 years and able to get my degree scroll. Life goals 1 - Checked!

2. Find a decent job

Of course, once graduated, everybody's dream is to find a decent job. Well, for me, I've been through few moments of being jobless, not in the right and decent job before I'm in my place now. But still, this is something to be thankful to. I'm indeed grateful for my job today, but I do hope that better job opportunity would come my way soon. Amen. Life goals 2 - Checked!

3. Pay my parents back for the sacrifices they made

For this one, I have to say no. Nope, I haven't pay my parents for the sacrifices they made for me. In fact, I could never repay them. The sacrifices that they made could and will never be repay in monetary terms. Well, though you can repay them in so many ways, but still I don't think it will ever be sufficient. Life goals 3 - Not yet : (

4. Save a lot of money

Moneyyyy! Hot stuff. Hehe. I'm in the process now. Last time I checked, my money haven't grow to the amount that I wanted yet (with so many zero at the back.Haha!). Wish that I have a money tree to grow them. Life goals 4 - On going :)

5. Travel around the world with friends/family

Well, not around the world but few places already. Next destination : Cebu City, Philippines.

Life goals 5 - On going :)

6. Help the less fortunate (Donate for charity/orphanage and etc)

See those people that sometimes sits on the hallway, sleeps on the street or come to you while you're having your meal - I have always been hesitant to these person. I thought that they are connected or related to some kind of scheme or what ever lah. So, honestly, I rarely give them the money. But still, I did  donate for some other unexpected events. Like the Sabah earthquake.Need to practice  giving more to people who really needs it. Life goals 6 - On going :)

7. Get married (If it God's plan)

My ultimate desire. I've prayed for this things to happen. But now, I feel like 50-50. If it God's plan for me, to get married, then I believe it would happen. If it's not, help me God to just be content and grateful for the life-callings that is meant for me. Life goals 7 - Uncertain.

How's yours?

Last Page - Saying NO ?

The very last page of Chapter 8 today. FYI, it's a long weekend! Weehuu! I at first thought that this long weekend would enable me to spend more time on my inside story, but I'm afraid, it's not. I ended up doing all the things that was out my of last-week-planned-to-do-checklist for this week. Phew.

I've been looking forward to this long weekend with the list of things to do. You see, recently, I mean since I moved to Beverly during the weekdays, the desire of going and yet spending time at home sweet home is high. I don't mind staying home during this whole long weekend but I didn't stayed.

I thought today, the last page of Chapter 8 would enable me to do so but still, no. Huh. I know, I sounded like a kid, didn't get the dolls that she wants. But, I don't think it's wrong to act like that at times.(although, I think I acted like that most of the time. Haha)

I read somewhere, being an adult women, you need to learn to say NO, or it's okay to say NO. Sounds rude, eh? But I think it's true. You can't please everyone. You need to respect and have time for yourself too.

But yes, certain situations makes it hard for you to say NO. You end up saying YES and suffer during the after-YES-incident. 

So, my last page today, is the result of not being able to say NO to someone. I, with so heavy-heart (direct translation. hihi) said YES and most of the time now, I complained and regretted of saying that YES word.

Lord, help me to learn and humbly accept the things that I've said Yes today. Amen.

Chapter 8

Wow! Chapter 8 of 2015 already, and so many things happened.

I've been through the ups and downs in all the previous chapters but I'm always thankful for those moments.

Yup. Recently, I've been doing few so-called throwbacks or flashbacks of all the people that used to be part of my inside story. I began to see and understand why some of them are no longer in my  inside story list. And yet, I'm looking forward to meeting more.

I'm more than blessed, Lord. Amen.

Quarter Life Crisis Checklist

I'm still in my  being 20's life issues. When will this end? *Phew. I know, I'm not alone in this so called season but for now, I haven't met someone close to me, that is also experiencing this kind of issues. Because, if I do find that someone, pep talk perhaps? ( Pep talk? Hmm. )

So, I've been doing some readings to really dig deeper into this quarter life crisis; and here I found a 25 checklist. Feel free to check yours. :)

1. Have you gotten your dream job?

To be exact, I've always wanted to be a Pharmacist since I was in Form 4. But, I believe God has another plan for me - I'm now an Occupational Therapist. I'm in the job. But, another but here. To say that this is the dream job for me, no. Not at all. I've always dream of working as an Occupational Therapist in a government sector. So, it's a no then. I haven't gotten my dream job. Soon maybe.

2. Have you tried pursuing (at least) your dream job ?

Yes, I did. I tried twice. Luck was not on my side, I guess on that moment. Good things happen when you patiently wait for it. I always have my faith in God that someday, I will enter the government sector. God's timing is always perfect.

3. Have your opened a savings account in your name that really is  for "saving"?

Yes, I have one. I opened my ASB account back in 2011. I've been inspired by my course mates. I may not be able to chip in to it every month for now but still, something to count on to when I'm in need.

4. Do you consider yourself independent? Responsible? In all aspects?

My ugly truth - No. I still have a lot of things to learn and honestly speaking, I won't be able to face it alone. Currently, I see myself mostly still depending on my parents - the very obvious reason is because of financial aspect. Not that I need to ask them for every little penny on the things that I wanted, but they do play a major role in this matter.

5.  Are you pleased with your current job? Does it give your fulfillment?

Well, for this one, I have to say that it's a yes and no. It is a yes when I feel that I've tried my very best in treating my client aka patient. No, because there are times that I just wish I have another job other then this.

6. Have your pursued your passion/s?

Yup. I love musics, arts and crafts, blogging. I've been doing all that now.

7.  Are your passionate about your partner and  your relationship?

I thanked God for my partner. I remember back then when I used to pray hard for one. But then, I'm a bit confused for now. Is he the one? How can you really know he's the one ?

8. Have you found your friend for keeps?

I did. You know who you are. We may need not to be in contact for 24/7, but deep down inside, I know that you'll stand by me.

9. Do you have your own place? Your own little sanctuary?

I only have my bedroom for now. I would love to have my own house and do the paintings but yeah, not yet.

10. Can you keep a pet ? Like for a lifetime?

I don't think I can keep one. Not for a lifetime.

11. Are you confident with your skin?

Indeed. No doubts.

12. Would you say that you've taken a good care of yourself? Are you in good shape?

I don't think so. I'm fully aware the needs and importance of eating right + being physically active but I couldn't convince myself to do so. Good shape? Not so.

13. Have you seen one of your dream destinations?

I don't have one. Haha. Too bad.

14. Have you experienced air travel ? sea travel ?

Yes, I did experience both.

15. Have you learnt that language you've been wanting to be fluent in for ages?

I am learning. Mandarin language. Hehe

16. Have you made your parents proud? Have you made yourself proud?

I may not know what are their criteria's of being proud, but I guess, I did. For myself, I haven't reach to the goals that I wanted in life, but yeah, I'm proud of being me.

17. Have you invested on improving your skills/talents?

Is mandarin and piano class considered as one? because if it's a yes, then I am investing now.

18.  Have you gone on what  you'd consider your most thrilling adventure yet?

I think I did. I, for once not that eager to climb Mount Kinabalu but I managed to go against my so-called- thinking. I conquered Aki Nabalu!

19. Do you like what you see in the mirror? Is she beautiful?

I love what I see in the mirror. She is indeed beautiful in her own way. Although I 'm hoping that I'm a bit skinnier but deep down inside, I'm extremely grateful.

20. Have you finished that book that's been sitting on your bedside table for years?

Yes, I finished them all this year.

21.  Have you outgrown your teenage shitty habits?

I'm not sure about this one.

22. Have you done half ( or been half) of what you've resolved to be your New Year's resolution/s?

It won't be half, but I'm working on it.

23. Have your stood up to your bullies?

Thank God. So far, I haven't met one.

24. Have you forgiven those who hurt you?

In the process, I guess.

25. Are you happy with the person you've become?

I am happy, because I know, God's plan for me is indeed wonderful.

How's yours then?

Self Reminder - Loved ones

 Family is everything.

This is something you’ve heard countless times from your parents and other grownups when you were just a few feet old but you’ve really learned its essence to the core of your being when you’ve spent years away from home while trying to chase after what the future holds for you. You learned that your mother really is the superwoman in your life without the red and yellow costume you’ve drawn and imagined her to be when you submitted your second grade homework. You learned that your sibling is the greatest ally you can have, no matter your differences. You learned of the grave difficulty your parent/s has/have gone through just so you can have a comfortable life after receiving your paychecks that were earned through a month’s worth of petty issues at work, fatigue, emotional distress, questioning of self-worth and so much more but you still have to show up because yeah, this is life. You respect your parents more because of that. You learned that at the end of the day, the sweetest idea will always be that you will always have somewhere to go and your most favorite people in the world are there waiting for you.

Quoted from  The Ten Things Every Women Must Have Realized at 25.

I am 25 and a few more months to 26. Grown up women, eh? 

Well, honestly speaking - Yes, I've come to realize that family is everything to me. Not that I don't see it before reaching 25 but being 25 ++ is like, certain things has becoming much more clearer to me. Probably because, it's who I am today.

Often, these days we tend to spend more time on our work and of course, enjoying life as a grown up single women. Being grown up single women in your 20's is like soooo great. You have a job, you have the money and you're in the age where freedom is all yours. Amazing, isn't it? (p/s: This includes me, enjoying my 20's. So, worry not. I'm not being sarcastic here)

We're so caught up with our own commitment that we, in the end spend lesser time with our family, to be exact, our parents. They're getting older and won't be around that long. We may not be able to repay what they've given to us but the very least that we can do is to spend more time with them. Of course, they won't expect you to be there for 24/7, but then, always put them among your top priorities.


Lord, I pray for your guidance and blessings showered upon both of my parents. May they be given the best health, strength and courage to live this life. Amen.

Wedding Project

The big project  that I was talking about last February.  A wedding project. Yup. Not mine. But, I acted like mine. Hehe

The wedding!

Well, I've been planning this project since January. We (my team,aiseeeh! I mean the family) decided to do it DIY, just because of the nowadays expensive- GST thingy. Plus, all those ideas can be Google. So, why bother wasting for about 1.2 K just for a pelamin right?

You see, although I'm not the main picture here (the pengantin) but I still feel excited. I'm planning a wedding. A wedding. It is indeed exciting right?

At first, I thought of doing,  thinking + getting, I mean all the ideas from my magic brain. Unfortunately, being in a allied health professional background, I was aware that stress would soon creep in if I were to do it all by myself. So, I delegate. Brilliant, aite?

I will be doing the main deco + theme for the pelamin and the photobooth + registration is my cousin, Gc. I have faith in her as I see that she has the almost same level of thinking and ideas for the theme. Hoho. Thank God, my Aunty B, volunteer herself to do the wishing tree . Voila, all is set then. Hehe.

Oh. The theme is Vintage & Rustic.  Great, isn't it? Hehe

Table number, please? - the idea was to put a white sand. end up with not so white sand + polisterine. Hehe

Just like I've mentioned in my February post, I have a lot of ideas running, googled a lot of beautifully-DIY-vintage background but still, couldn't make up my mind on which one to do. Indecisive, much?  (ini baru wedding si abang, belum lagi wedding saya! Haha!)

In the end, I stick with my initial ideas - pastel paper pin wheel. the woods, and combine with pom pom.

I only managed to take these pictures, the night before the wedding. Too bad, didn't take during the actual day where all the sofa's and other deco were put in.

The other important aspect of wedding deco - wedding arch.This is actually was part of Anty B's effort, together with my cousin, Lilo. I know that she was really, like really into doing this DIY arch made from dried leaves or plants and all she wants was someone to do the frame. Unfortunately, no one was willing to and that actually disappoint  her. So, my dad suggested to just rent the frame and then just do the flower arrangements, etc - DIY.

Tadaaa! the DIY flower + dried gorouk ranting. Flower's actually from mami's retirement gift. Beautiful, isn'it? Still, didn't manage to take actual photos of the arch during the wedding. This photo is actually post wedding.

Another famous trend in nowadays event - Photobooth! But, honestly speaking this DIY photobooth is under utilized. Probably because of the weather - it was raining on that day. Never mind then. For me, the photobooth was beautifully amazing. Those crepe paper looks like they can be eaten. Haha.

Another post wedding shot. Phew! But, still those crepe paper color looks like something to eat. Haha.
Credits to Gc.

Planning a wedding is not easy. There is a lot of things need to be think of, done and etc. Doing it all alone also not easy. But, hey- I'm glad I have a team of very supportive, creative and wonderful people  around me. Thank you, dear families - especially Wakau Clan & Abun Sominding members.

Should anyone  interested with our art work, please, don't hesitate to contact us. Haha. Just Kidding!

Part of the team. Ignore my face yang macam baru bangun tu walaupun tidak. Hehe

Solidarity for Sabah

For the first time ever, 5th June 2015 with a magnitude of 6.0 at 7.15 am Earthquake struck Sabah. And this followed by another aftershocks  that still can be felt up till last Saturday, 13th June.

No one, especially Sabahan has ever thought that something would happen on that ordinary day. Everyone was one their usual routine. 

As for me, I had just arrive at my workplace,  alone and settling down while surfing the net. On that time, construction was doing their work upstairs. So, when the earthquake struck and with the tremors ( it is strong !), I acted fine and calm as I thought it was the construction doing the works. At one point, I realized , it's not. Nervousness creep inside of me. I hurriedly take my bag and went out from the building. I went outside and saw everyone was gathering there too. Check my whatsapp and everybody was talking about it. Phew*

I, at first never thought the one, up there climbing the Mount Kinabalu and on that time, I never thought the epicentre was from the mountain itself.

Honestly saying, I can't never imagine how does it feel for the family members at this moment of time, in losing their loved ones. Heartfelt condolences to them.

Let us all Sabahan be united in prayer. May this storm would pass.

Lord bless us, surrounds us with your grace during this hard time of ours.

Used to

Like we used to.

Ever experienced that?

I did. Actually, I just did read an old conversation with a close friend few days ago. I scroll back the conversation all the way from  year 2009 and our last chat was in 2013.

I consider him close, as he was there during the ups and downs in my uni years. Don't get me wrong. I'm not writing this to say or making me look like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. But, there are times that you suddenly wonder where have these people been, the ones that used to be in your life before this. Why haven't you guys maintain the conversation and all.

I was feeling this. I was wondering where have you been, how have you been doing, can we still have the conversations like before and etc. But, I'm extremely sure for one thing - that we may no longer have the conversation like we used to.

People always have that someone they turn to when they have a not-so-good day; or even a very great one. This one friend, is that - the one that I can turn to and share my story. Positively, he will listen to my complaints, crazy story patiently. At times, he would response in a way that  makes me feel that, "Oh, this is not that  bad after all".

Thank you, dear friend. With you, I did survive my uni life despite of all the craziness + toughness + stress being a student. Hehe. I just hope that someday, if our paths would cross again, I would definitely say thanks, you!  You've been part of my inside story.

I wish you well. ;)

May's Prayer

It's May again and as always, apology for not being able to check in to my inside story regularly. And, as always, time is running fast.

I still have a lot of insecurities, doubts, uncertainty and  all the negative things. I do wonder at times, have I been doing the right choice, decision and stuff. Somehow, being almost 26, I feel lost.

In the midst of people my age are eagerly changing their life status, here I am wondering when is my turn. Phew, help me God, to get through this.

April Issues

Never ending issues. Phew.

Sometimes, I wonder, is it normal to have issues at this stage of life?

Oh. I guess this is all part of being a grown up woman.

Negative surroundings. Just like I've mentioned in my previous post (part of New Year's resolution I guess), to try to talk less about people. In other words, less gossip. But recently, to fail attempt. I can't help but to spill out those unhealthy, negative words. It flows like water. Just like that. Then, here come the regret part after the spilling. Huhu

Relationships. Be it with family, friends or boyfie. It seems that, April brings out the unwanted issues. I admit it, sometimes, I over react and over think about it. And, it ruined my mood.

Self. A lot for this one. I have issues of moving out to a new house. It doesn't feel right. Weird. Hormone I guess.

Losing

Gaining and losing are the two things that would always happen in life.

Not exactly today, but I lose someone dear to me. Grandma.

Days before, you were just fine. To know that you were suddenly gone the next day, was actually tearing us apart.

But, deep down inside, I believe that God has something better for you Grandma. Rest in Peace. We will always have you in our thoughts and prayers.

We may not be as close as anyone else could be , a grandma-granddaughter relationship but I know that you've always loved me.

Amen.

Desire

I wish. :)

Surely, this has been - the ultimate desire of every girl in this universe. That includes me.

Since I was a teenager ( few years back), I've always planned that I would get married at the age of 25, and here I am 26.

But, how do you really now if you've made the right choice? the right man? and the right decision.

Guide me o Lord. Amen.

February

 Chapter 2 of 2015

Hello, Chapter 2! I've got a list of  things to be done and I'm not even sure where to start first. Here's a few.Hehe.

Vintage!

1. Considered as a big project for this year. Have a lot of ideas running but still couldn't decide which

    one to do. And yes, I should slowly start doing it ! or else, it wouldn't turn out as I've imagined 

    and expected it to be.

Ka-chingg!!

2. Should strive for more savings.MORE. A lot of event that needs this Ka-chingg! things. 

    Savings VS Shopping temptations. How's that ? Pheww.

Frame deco

3. DIY Home deco project. At a very slow pace. Hehe.

Quarter-Life-Crisis

Check this out  - 10 signs of Quarter-Life-Crisis

Just by looking at it, I think I am having a Quarter-Life- Crisis. Hmm.

1. Daydreaming about doing something crazy

Hell yeah! I did that. Singing lively in a band, entertaining humans in a big hall. Haha. In which, this ideas stay as  purely my imagination. Hoho

Accepting overseas job offer or somewhere not in Malaysia. I once dream of going to pursue my career in Singapore or Brunei.

2. ... but  feeling paralyzed by indecision

Indeed. I wanted to do as many things that I can during my 20's but to really do it, I'm not that brave enough.

3. Feeling increasingly nostalgic for high school and college days

Totally. These days, I had been always doing throwback and recap of my student years. Feeling so grateful that I don't have to think a lot just like what I'm in now.

4. The idea of making a budget is terrifying

True enough. Back in student years, I've always thought that I could somehow handle this financial matters wisely but the truth is, I still have a lot to learn. I couldn't really persuade my mind to save more many for future events. Huh.

5. Starting to think of dating life differently

I have just been in a relationship. Thank God. Current mode, how to spot Mr Right. And yes, I want commitment. 

6. Have sudden, sudden intense of failure

Been experiencing this almost every day, especially now that I'm in a new work setting.

7. Bored with your friends

Gotta to disagree with this one. Not bored, instead craving for it! but still depends on the timing. There are times that I just love staying and lazying at home.

8. Constantly comparing self to same age friends

Yeah, sometimes I wonder, am I really 25 ( plus few months. hehe) ? I felt like heaven and earth different with some of my same age friends. This, especially when they're getting married and here I am still single.

9.  or my parents  when they are my age

Hm.. not really . Hee

10. Feeling like this twenties aren't turning out how  I expect it to be

Exactly! I feel loss and always have this question popping out of my brain - " Am I living my life correctly?"

Ok. I think I am having this crisis for now. Full stop.

Self Reminder

I'm still in the midst of fighting against my temptations. For once, I think I almost did it but there were times that I lost.

Info are easily available nowadays. Just the tip of your finger, they say. So, the other day, I was having my own personal issue about something. I don't really have the courage to ask people, human to be exact. So, I googled them.

I read it. Interesting, yet deep meaning. Leaving my brain working hard to digest them.

The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord

 is for the body;  

Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but

 the immoral person sins against his own body. 

1 Corinthians 6 : 13c-15a, 17-20.

The Uncertainty

Life is like a roller coaster ride. At one time,you're on the top feeling so energetic and next you' re so down there that you feel like losing hope. In short, life changes right ?

Just when life changes for better ( or may be even for worse ), the people in it change too. Well, I'm one of them. I felt the changes within me.

I thanked God for the positive changes except for the one that I felt now. Not to say that I'm not being grateful or what but actually I was kinda of confused and unsure.

If previously, I was confident enough that this is what God's plan for me but now, I'm not sure. New plan I guess Lord ?

Whatever it is, I seek your guidance o Lord. Amen.

2015

Saying Hello to 2015!

Hello, everyone! Happy New Year! I hope that you have a wonderful New Year Eve celebration last year. Last year ? Hehe. Time flies fast.

I did! I  enjoyed my New Year Eve celebration although it's just a very simple and usual one. BBQ + eat + drinks. So called drinks la. Haha!

Happiness is celebrating New Year with you special ones.

 A quote I've seen on FB few days back.

We're back to January and again it's the first chapter of 2015 book. How is it going to be? We are yet to find out but I'm fully hoping (fingers-crossed) that this first chapter would be great and amazing.

Stay tune then. :)